This is kind of an odd one for the Forgotten Collective, but honestly, I don't even know what kind of hellish direction this thing is even going in anyways. I mean, it's primarily music, but sometimes the music isn't always about the beat and rhythm. Sometimes it's just about the sad lyrics that reflect how crummy you feel. And yeah, I'm feeling semi-crummy. Deal.
Rarely do I talk EVER, especially publicly, about relationships. And this is not about friendships. It's about the kind that means something more. Some people like to call it "dating", but I don't even know what that means anymore. I feel the only way that describes that sort of situation is mutually-exclusive. But whatever you call it, that's what I'm talking about here. And since I'm being completely honest here, I'll admit that I'll probably mention some things that I'll probably regret even mentioning on here, but I don't where else to turn to. Again, I feel like this is some sort of way to be heard. Even if it's heard by a few.
Ex's are ex's for a reason. No brainer. But that cussing statement hits me like a bus every now and then. We all have some sort of relationship we want to sweep under the rug, or bury so far deep into the earth that it melts away at the core. This is actually not about my personal crap of sour endings, maybe someone else's. All I can really say, and this may sound vague (but again, I don't really like sharing) is that you can't compare yourself to anyone else. And that goes for anything. Comparisons make you want to kill yourself, jump over a bridge, fall of cliff, everything. I feel like a terrible person not confronting someone about these feelings, but I also feel like a terrible person telling the individual either. Confrontation sucks. And admitting feelings is a difficult task to perform. I mean, look, I even have to say this through a cussing blog post. But again, never line yourself up with someone else. All I can see are flaws, the differences where someone could have had it better. Someone is just always better than you. And sometimes, being the "best you" you can be just doesn't feel that great anymore. Then you whirlwind into a blur of self-loathing and why you're even worth the breath. Digging through your past and someone else's just brings up a jack-in-the-box of dreadful surprises that want to explode in your face and ruin your life.
Look, just do me a favor people of the internet: be more honest and be yourself. Don't be stuck like me.
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